Incompetent

      
      

The test begins.

You find yourself alone in a large cafeteria. On a table before you is a hunk of cheese, and a knife as long as your forearm. You must choose one or the other.

Being extremely lactose intolerant, you opt for the knife. Unfortunately, you pick it up by the blade, and severely gash all of the fingers on that hand. In your flailing attempts to stop the bleeding, you somehow manage to get bits of cheese into the wounds, immediately  triggering your violent allergies. Lightheaded and bloaty, you sit on the table to collect your thoughts, holding the knife loosely in your other, blood soaked hand.

You hear a door squeak, and look up to see a large dog has entered the room. You remember that you used to want to be a dog, and wave excitedly, forgetting you are still holding the blood-slick knife. It sails through the air and grazes the dog’s thigh, provoking him into a rage. He snarls, bares his enormous teeth, and charges.

In the few seconds before he reaches your table, you wet yourself, feeling certain that you have done so for real, and not just in the simulation.