Little compares to the feeling of doing something that benefits others and getting nothing in return. Except, of course, doing the same thing and getting paid for it. You have to understand, life is not cheap for the average kiwi. There’s the high grade kiwi food they require in order to maintain their lustrous coats; the expensive waxes needed to keep their beaks shiny and sharp, not to mention the exorbitant amount any insurer will charge to keep a policy in place for a terminally clumsy avian amputee. On top of that, bodyguards – even incredibly ineffectual ones – aren’t for nothing. It’s no surprise then that the kiwi is a little mercenary with his time on occasion.